this morning I woke feeling quite a bit of resistance! don't want to get out of bed, tired of doing the same old routine. but i pushed through it and got moving, even if it was slowly. Up and getting ready to take the kids to school i felt like i wanted to rebel, be crazy and cut loose....perhaps rebelling against being a responsible adult, rebelling against structure..and it was strong and rising in my heart.
After school drop off and a bit of responsible adult grocery shopping i came home, not sure of where to direct myself. so i finished this journal page....just adding the words. still this strong energy within my chest. asking myself 'how do i want to express this energy?' do i want to change my clothes and dress a bit wacky? do i want to do a Laini and dye my hair pink? do i want a glass of wine and crackers for morning tea?? ( i was getting desperate to find out where this energy was going!) .....no nothing seemed to go aha for me.
I scanned this journal image and realised i mispelt unusual.... and i was ok with that. often i do that in journal pages cos i know that the right side of my brain is doing its creative job. the rebel in me then seemed satisfied.strange? maybe it was the realisation that i am already uunusual and that i don't have to express it in such a 'look at me' way....it doesn't quite feel like an aha, but i'll let you know if anything unusual happens! or if i dye my hair pink!